My Silver Slippers :

As I sit here, in my comfy slippers I just can't help but think—"Oh, the pressures of looking gorgeous and glamorous for, us, women..."

It's easy for men, but when the invitation says "black tie" it invariable means high heels for their partners. I mean, I'm no fashioinista, but even I realise it's just not a good look to wear shoes that look like a couple of giant squashed olives with a cocktail dress? Eek! However, especially for any length of time, a pair of high heels can be one of the most uncomfortable items a woman can wear. So, why do women wear them? It's vanity, that's what it is that makes women sacrifice comfort for compliments!

It's like, what makes a Hollywood actress look so damned hot and sexy strutting her stuff on the red carpet? Is it her fabulously flawless face and overly coiffured hair? The skimpy designer gown that's barely covering her hotter than hot body? Or, even, the million dollar jewels she's managed mooch a loan of? Oh, no, no, tell you, it's those damned skyscraper heels she's so practised at wearing, that's what it is!

I ask you, what red-blooded male can resist a woman in high heels? And, as any leg man will tell you, a pair of stilettos will always make curvaceous legs look even longer and lovelier Yep, whether a woman's doing a sexy strut in the bedroom, or a twirl on the dance floor, a pair of spiky heels will most surely boost, not only her butt, but her sex appeal too!

I suppose I shouldn't complain so much. I'm a very average shoe size, so at least I have a good choice of styles. I have friend who's almost 180cm and her feet are much bigger to match. I mean, not Sideshow Bob big, but large enough that it's really difficult for her to find anything that's doesn't come in black or brown, and look like something my granny would wear. She also has legs that go for days, and a face and body that makes men's mouths drop wide open when she walks into a room, so I guess it's only fair that she should have trouble buying shoes.

Ah, but I digress…

Anyway, we've been invited to this 'black tie' evening, again. It's a regular thing every year coming up to Christmas. It just seems so inappropriate, too, to expect men to wear suits and ties in such warm weather. I guess they don't call it the silly season for nothing.

Well, I found a pair of gorgeous shoes, but they're not even marginally ambulatory! So, why am I such a victim? Maybe I should just spray paint my slippers silver instead?