The Bald Truth

You know, every time I hear a man making self-deprecating jokes about his baldness, I have to ask myself, "Why?". I mean, sure women look for certain qualities in choosing a mate, but how often do you hear one say, "Well, what I'm really looking for in a man is hair. Yep, loads of it, and it's all got to be on top of his head."?

I read a quote by actor Bruce Willis the other day, he said, "I don't rely on my hair for my masculinity or my acting." Ah, yes, Bruce Willis, what pure uninhibited masculinity! Why, every word he utters simply drips with testosterone. While so many men in Hollywood literally chop and change their hair to suite the roles they play, Bruce's sexy trade mark, his five o'clock shadow and close cut hair, remains unchanged. What on earth was Demi thinking when she left him for that baby faced what's his name? I just don't get it. What sane woman lets a hot hubby like Bruce slip away? Sure, I realise a lot of women go through crazy mid-life crisises, and maybe so is she, but "Bruce" verses "Ashton"? I mean, ladies, if you had to choose... I mean if you were given a choice... I mean if you could be so f**king lucky, honestly, which one would you take?

Ah, but I digress....

Well, sure bald and baldin men can be just as sexy as their hairy brothers. Remember the late, the great, the hotter than hot, Yule Brynner? He didn't need hair to make him one of the sexiest men ever? In fact wasn't it his lack of hair that rather intensified his smouldering good looks? What about Britain's sexiest man, Sean Connery? I tell you, with or without hair, that man doesn't get older he just gets hotter. Ed Harris, Woody Harrelson, andr Brendon Fraser, to name just a few, are all losing their hair, but who cares? Hair does not maketh the man.

OK, so, if you're a man concerned about your receding hair line or thinning top, how about following Bruce's lead because, let me tell you, that rugged masculine look is simply tailor-made for you!

But really, how did all this ridiculous obsession with men's hair first come about? Was it perhaps when Delilah hacked off Samson's locks? You know, I think I would have done the same thing, regardless of whether that was really where his strength lay. Like I was just telling someone the other day, I refuse to drool over a man with longer, shinier, or better hair than mine. I want to be the pretty one!

Ah, but I digress again...

Do some men still feel that their masculinity to linked to the hair on their heads? A friend of mine began going bald from a very early age. It bothered him initially, but he's an intelligent man, and he soon realised that it wasn't the changes on the outside, but more specifically the changes on the inside, of his head, that were the real issue. Yes, it's all got to do with attitude. He now proudly shaves his head, and often rubs oil on it too, to make it shiny. Oh, and he has this crazy t-shirt that says: "This mighty sex machine is powered by a cranium solar panel".

So, to all you bald or balding guys out there I say, say no to rugs and plugs! Believe me, women are looking at a lot more than what is, or isn't, on top of your head. Stop counting those damned hairs, and start listing all of those fine qualities that make you the man you're proud to be.